Serious Talk: It’s OK Not To Want/Have Children

 

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Now this is a slightly different topic and before I start ranting off, I’d like to point out that these are my thoughts and I don’t mean to disrespect anyone.

Being a 30-something single girl or shall I say woman, I’ve come across a lot of offensive questions and debates on why some women don’t want to have children. Might I add that we do live in the year 2015. We are not royals who need to reproduce in order to provide an heir, nor do we need to give birth to have a pension scheme later on in life.

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By evolution we want to give birth and leave a piece of ourselves behind. Ehm, no! We can achieve things by having a great career, friends and other social engagements.

We live in a world full of opportunities, the world is our oyster.

Do I sound too harsh for sharing my thoughts? By all means, I am not trying to be and don’t get me wrong, I love children. I am in love with my nephews Milan and Luan and my friend’s daughter Evelyn. I cherish every moment I spend with them and utterly miss them when they’re not around. But I’m also glad when I get to go to bed at night, not having to wake up because they’re crying or needing a bottle (when they were younger).

The offensive questions/statements I’ve come across within the last couple of years, only after finding out my age, will make you cringe.

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Here are the top 3:

  1. Why don’t you have children – you’re already beyond your childbearing years?!
  2. What’s your purpose in life then?
  3. You’ll realise sooner or later that the life you lead is shallow without having kids of your own!!!

Told you, pretty nasty, eh?!

Well, I might’ve not had an immediate reply at the time but there comes a time when one needs to speak up and the time has finally arrived.

  1. Well, I think statistics have shown that these days women are more than capable to give birth in their late 30s.
  2. My purpose in life? Well, happiness. But does a child define my happiness? No! And I believe it shouldn’t. I’ve chosen to go back to uni in my late 20s and do not regret my academic achievements. I’ve done something for myself, worked really hard and it paid off.
  3. Let me tell you this much. My life is not shallow. On the contrary, it is filled with love, love from my family and friends. Since when is being career driven shallow? I’ve barely any spare time to go on dates, yet alone second dates. I don’t get to catch up with all of my friends as much as I would prefer to. Then there’s the gym, charity work, blogging…. oiii, I’m exhausted by just thinking about it.

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I understand that not everyone thinks like that but occasionally you come across a few traditionalists who will throw their opinions in your face. Maybe think twice before insulting someone about not having or wanting children because you don’t know their background. There could be multiple reasons.

Also, who is to say that one might not change their mind in the future. Don’t judge because it’s none of your business. And to all the mothers out there, I think you’re doing an amazing job because it is hard work. And an extra big fat thank you to my mum because I’ve witnessed what she sacrificed for us.

Until next time.

Lots of love,

Nina x

 

 


3 Responses to Serious Talk: It’s OK Not To Want/Have Children

  1. Beckie says:

    I completely agree with your viewpoint. I’m not ruling out children and obviously I still have a while before that goes out of the picture, but I would hate to feel pressured into it. You do what makes you happy and just ignore them, they’ll eventually stop asking haha!! x

  2. You do what makes you happy, it’s your choice after all. I (thankfully) haven’t been asked by anyone yet, but I think it’s just because it’s assumed as I have been with my partner for years and we own a house etc. We will make a decision when the time is right, but life has been a bit hectic with us both finishing our doctorates so kids are not a priority!!!!!!!!

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